It is the idea of him that I’m sure I’m in love with and I’m ready to let that idea go.

Maybe home isn’t a place. It’s a feeling. Of being cared for and understood. Of being loved.

I’m thirty years old, and it’s safe to say that at this precise moment I definitely do not know where I am going.

Do you know why I like storms? They’re a little reminder that we’re not at all in charge, but Mother Nature is. And while the world might not look exactly how we’d prefer it to, it is enough, if we just stop and look. The whole sky lit up. The smell of the rain. Safe inside. What more could you need?

Because everyone is settled at thirty, aren’t they? You’re an adult at thirty – fully fledged – and everyone knows who they are. Or at least everyone knows exactly where they are going, even if they haven’t quite made it there yet.

The only sort of negative emotion I feel is slightly sad, but it isn’t a jealous sort of sad, it’s that end of era feeling; the sort of feeling you have when you’re leaving a job and you know so much that it’s for the best, but you’ll miss it. The familiarity. The routine of it.

What is it about someone asking if you’re okay? Even if you think you’re holding it together, all it takes is someone asking is if you’re alright to completely melt away your resolve and bring that lump bobbing straight into your throat.

OK?’ Eliot simply asks. ‘Fine.’ ‘Good. Only thing for it,’ he says, ‘hold on and hope for the best.’ ‘And that’s dancing, is it?’ ‘Well, yeah,’ says Eliot, then he leans in and says into my ear, breath tickling my neck, ‘And everything else, too, Emmie Blue.

Rosie has made dinner for later, a curry that smells like coconuts, something she said her dad makes when she's run down or sad. "It works. I give less of a shit once I've got a bowl of this baby. My nan's works the best though. Fuck knows what she puts in hers. Men's souls probably, and rightly so.

Do you know why I like storms? They're a little reminder that we're not at all in charge, but Mother Nature is. And while the world might not look exactly how we'd prefer it to, it is enough, if we just stop and look. The whole sky lit up. The smell of the rain. Safe inside. What more could you need?